It's friday. Time to laugh. This helped me:
This conversation that really took place on the emergency channel outside the spanish coast in october 1997 is hilarious in itself. I first read it in german, then found a spanish version.
Then using a free web-translator, these two english versions really cracked me up:
VERSION 1 - translated from spanish to english:
REAL CONVERSATION ENGRAVING OF THE FREQUENCY OF MARITIME EMERGENCY CHANNEL 106, IN THE COAST OF FINISTERRA (GALICIA), BETWEEN SPANIARDS AND American, IN OCTOBER, 16 OF 1997
Spanish: (noise of fund) .... It speaks the TO-853, please, they deviate their course fifteen south degrees to avoid to collide us.. They approach direct toward us, distance 25 nautical miles.
American: (noise of fund) ... We recommend that they deviate their course fifteen north degrees to avoid collision.
Spanish: Negative. We repeat, they deviate their course fifteen south degrees to avoid collision.
American: (another American voice) Al speaks the Captain of a ship of the United States of America. We insist, they deviate you their course fifteen north degrees to avoid collision.
Spanish: it do Not we consider feasible neither convenient, we suggest them that they deviate their course fifteen south degrees to avoid to collide us.
American: (very hot) THE CAPTAIN SPEAKS THEM RICHARD JAMES HOWARD, AL COMMAND OF THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, OF THE NAVY OF THE E.E.U.U., THE SECOND LARGER SHIP OF WAR OF THE American FLEET. TWO BATTLESHIPS they ESCORT US, SIX DESTROYERS, FIVE CRUISERS, FOUR SUBMARINES AND NUMEROUS EMBARKATIONS OF SUPPORT. We DIRECT US TOWARD WATER OF THE PERSIAN GULF TO PREPARE MILITARY MANEUVERS BEFORE AN EVENTUAL OFFENSIVE OF IRAQ. THEM do NOT I SUGGEST.. I ORDER THEM THAT they DEVIATE THEIR COURSE FIFTEEN NORTH DEGREES! !!!! OTHERWISE we WILL SEE US OBLIGED TO TAKE THE MEASURES THAT BE NECESSARY TO GUARANTEE THE SECURITY OF THIS SHIP AND OF THE FORCE OF THIS COALITION. You. They BELONG TO AN ALLIED COUNTRY, MEMBER OF THE NATO AND OF THIS COALITION.. PLEASE, they OBEY IMMEDIATELY AND be REMOVED OF OUR ROAD! !!!!
Spanish: Juan speaks Them Manuel Rooms Alcántara. We are two people. They escort us our dog, our food, two beers and a canario that now this sleeping. We have the support of Chain Dial of The Coruña and the channel 106 of maritime emergency. Us we direct to no side since we speak firm from land, we are in the lighthouse TO-853 Finisterra, of the coast of Galicia. We do not have the idea in which placed we are in the ranking of Spanish lighthouses. They can take the measures that consider opportune and the desire give him to guarantee the security of his ship, that is going to do host against the rocks, for which we insist again and we suggest him that the best, but healthy and more recommendable is that we deviate his course fifteen south degrees for avoid colisiónarnos. ....!!!!
American: Well, it received, thanks.
VERSION 2 - the web-translator's german - english translation - or at least translation-attempt:
Honest radio saying
A HONEST radio saying, THAT BETWEEN GALIZIERN AND north Americans IS TAKEN PLACE HAS THIS - RECEIVED OF THE FREQUENCY OF THE SPANISH MARITIME need call, CANAL 106, AT THE GALIZISCHEN COAST "COSTA DE FINISTERRA" - ON THE 16 OCTOBER 1997 (this radio saying really took place and became first in March 2005 of the Spanish military authorities the publication released)
Galizier:
(Sound in the background) ...... Here A853 to them speaks change, please it its course around 15 degrees to
south around a collision to vermeiden.....
They go directly on us to, distance 25 nautical Meilen.......
American:
(Sound in the Hintergrund)......Wir advise to avoid them to change its course around 15 degrees to north around a collision.
Galizier:
Negative answer. We repeat: they change to avoid its course around 15 degrees to south around a collision.
American:
(Another American voice) here the captain of a ship of the navy speaks the United States of America to them. We persist on that: they change its course around 15 degrees to north immediately in order to avoid a collision.
Galizier:
We look at recommend change this as neither as doable yet required, we its course around 15 degrees towards the south to them to avoid around
a collision.
American:
(Befehlerischer sound strongly excited) HERE THE CAPTAIN SPEAKS US RICHARD JAMES HOWARD, COMMANDER OF THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER "USS LINCOLN" ABOUT THE NAVY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, THE SECOND LARGEST WARSHIP OF THE NORTH AMERICAN FLEET, ESCORT TWO tank cruisers, SIX DESTROYERS, FIVE cross ships, FOUR
U-BOATS AND MEHERE SHIPS THAT US ALWAYS SUPPORTING ABILITY. WE ARE IN course direction PERSIAN GULF in order TO PREPARE THERE A military maneuver AND TO CARRY OUT WITH REGARD TO AN OFFENSVE OF THE IRAQ ALSO. I RATE YOU NOT .... I COMMANDS YOU YOUR COURSE AROUND 15 DEGREES TO NORTH TO ÄNDERN!!!!! YOU
SHOULD NOT FORCED YOURSELF ON THAT STOPS SO SEEING WE US TO INITIATE THE NECESSARY STEPS, THAT ARE NECESSARY AROUND THE SECURITY OF THIS AIRCRAFT CARRIER AND ALSO THAT OF THIS MILITARY dispute power TO GUARANTEEING. YOU ARE MEMBER OF AN ALLIERTEN COUNTRY, MEMBER NATO AND THEREFORE THIS MILITARY
STREITMACHT.....
FAVOR OBEYING YOU IMMEDIATELY AND GOING YOU US END THE WEG!!!!!!!!
Galizier:
Here Juan Manuel Salas Alcántara speaks. We are two persons. Our dog, our meal, two beers led us and a man of the Kanaren who just sleeps. We have the support of the transmitters Cadena Dial of la
Coruna and canal 106 as need call maritime. We go nowhere there because we speak with them of the mainland out of. We are in the lighthouse A-853 Finisterra at the coast of Galizien. We have no faintest premonition which place take in we in the Ranking of the Spanish lighthouse. And can the steps initiate, that it essential hold, around the security its aircraft
carrier to guarantee, especially since it immediately against the coasts rock Galiziens smash becomes, and for this reason must we on that persist and would want it them once again at the heart put,
the it the best, that healthiest and the smartest for it and its people is, namely its course around 15 To change south around a collision to avoid ......
For the short version, go to (!):
http://www.ihimlen.dk/sjovefilm/index.php?ax=out&id=131
MORE KNITTING COMING UP SOON..
